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Night Ranger

Posted by Rob Ortenzi on 01-Aug-08 @ 02:28 PM

YEARS OF EXISTENCE: 1982 -1989; 1996 -present YEARS OF DECENT EXISTENCE: N/A BEST RECORDS: N/A WORST RECORDS: Dawn Patrol (1982), Midnight Madness (1983), 7 Wishes (1985), Big Life (1987), Man In Motion (1988), Seven (1998) GO DOWNLOAD: "Sister Christian," "Don't Tell Me You Love Me," "(You Can Still) Rock In America," "When You Close Your Eyes" FILE UNDER: That Overproduced Generic '80s Show SIMILAR SOUNDING DINOSAURS: Loverboy, Survivor, REO Speedwagon, Journey and anybody else who was short on personality and long on payola dollars. THE MUSIC: Night Ranger formed in the early '80s back in the days when men willingly used crème rinse conditioner, unprotected sex was standard practice and a certain amount of cash got your project on the radio. Mentored by renowned concert promoter Bill Graham, the band--bassist/singer Jack Blades, guitarists Jeff Watson and Brad Gillis, keyboardist Alan Fitzgerald and drummer Kelly Keagy--got some sweet opening slots on whatever compatible headliner Graham had coming to town. When their debut album, 1983's Dawn Patrol, was released, radio stations had something more generic to spin than Loverboy, and rock critics had something new to hate. This trend would continue through most of the decade, when all of the band's releases sold in excess of 1 million records each. They were usually bought by begrudging dudes whose girlfriends wanted to makeout to "Sister Christian," Keagy's paen to girls growing up too fast or some kind of ultimately hypocritical shit all '80s, ahem, "hard rock" bands liked to preach to look sincere. By 1989, even their fans were over them, and Blades jumped ship to front the similarly vanilla-rocking Damn Yankees. WHAT THEY SAY: "Harnessing the frenetic drive of heavy metal to hook-laden rock songs, throwing in a stunning twin lead-guitar team, and melodious, radio-friendly power ballads, Night Ranger inspired new descriptive phrases such as 'melodic metal' and 'metal power pop.'" (taken from current Night Ranger press release) WHAT I SAY: Garret Michaels, program director for San Diego station FM-94/9, told the San Diego Weekly Reader, "With emo we're talking about manufactured, Cheez Whiz-in-a-spray-can-music. It's time to call an end to all these ridiculous-looking bands and their ridiculous-sounding music." I suggest Mr. Michaels sit down with a copy of Night Ranger's Greatest Hits and explain to us how the hell they got so popular. Radio's always been part of the problem, asshat. This is why people who work in radio, like oil company executives, need their eyes scooped out of their heads with rusty spoons.) WHY YOUR (GRAND)PARENTS LIKE THEM: They thought people who worked in radio were arbiters of cultural taste. Right now, I would like to give a shout out to my mom, who was listening to the Dead Kennedys' Plastic Surgery Disasters in 1983 and not these shrimps. (Okay, she was listening to DK because that's what I kept playing the hell out of back then...) CURRENT WHEREABOUTS: They're back! Hole In The Sun, the rump Rangers' (minus Fitzgerald and Watson) eighth trip to the studio, is coming out next month on the newly formed VH1 Classic Records. You can still rock in America--this is why the terrorists hate us. -Jason Pettigrew