Up, Up And Away

Posted by Rob Ortenzi on 17-Jan-07 @ 05:54 PM

After slamming his tits up against young America’s collective consciousness as Jessica Simpson’s long-lost, trailer-park “cousin” (and various other exasperating characters) on Punk’d, comedic con-man DAX SHEPARD managed to make himself a household name. For an encore, he rocked an all-dude three-way spooning session with Matthew Lillard and Seth Green in 2004’s Without A Paddle. In the coming months, the Michigan-bred Shepard has many more opportunities to show us some skin—or at least make us laugh our balls off. And it looks like he’ll probably succeed in this month’s Idiocracy, directed by LCD director Mike Judge, and Employee Of The Month, where Shepard stars alongside Dane Cook as Costco workers vying for the affection of a new cashier, played by the newly-single Miss Simpson. Good thing they really aren’t related. That would be awkward.

INTERVIEW:
J. Bennett
PHOTO: Dave Hill

You’ve got kind of a smooth-operator voice. Can you sing?
Oh, I’m a horrible singer. I was actually talking to my sister about this the other day because I sing to myself around the house quite often, and I said, “You know, that’s the one example of practice doesn’t make perfect.”

What kind of songs do you sing?
I do a spot-on Michael McDonald.

Do you just go to bars and belt out Doobie Brothers songs?
I have a funny story about that, actually. When I did Without A Paddle, I became pretty good friends with Burt Reynolds…

You try to work that into every interview, huh?
Oh, absolutely. [Laughs.] He invited me over one time for, like, a Sunday afternoon lunch, and it was him, Dom DeLuise, Jon Voight and Robert Loggia. And Robert Loggia sings opera—he’s a bona fide opera singer. So we’ve all eaten, and Burt begs him to sing one of his opera songs. I swear to God, people are welling up at the table while he’s singing. It’s amazing. Then Dom DeLuise and his wife do a weird, like, Guys & Dolls type routine, some musical number that’s hilarious and sounds fantastic. I’m just smiling and taking it all in, you know, and suddenly Burt turns to me and goes, “Do your thing.” I’m looking at him, like, “No way.” And then he says, “Dax is gonna do a Michael McDonald song.” Now everyone’s staring at me, and I don’t even know the words to the entire song. I just know bits and pieces. So I sing the part I know, and then I stop, and everyone’s looking at me awkwardly.

Is there any song you know all the words to?
I know all the words to “Colors” by Ice-T. That’s an intoxicating song to sing to yourself. I also sing this one pretty well: [Sings a line from the Auto Zone jingle]. Few people can hit that song the way I do. Dane Cook, in his stand-up routine, does this whole thing about Sport Chalet. I haven’t seen him perform, but we just did this movie together and we were shooting nights in Costco for weeks. So I was walking around singing the Sport Chalet song, and he told me that he thinks it’s the best jingle ever. I was like, “It’s good, but it’s not the best. Auto Zone is clearly the best jingle ever.”

That was while you were shooting Employee Of The Month.
Yeah, Dane and I play rival Costco employees who started on the same day 10 years ago. I’m very motivated and he’s a slacker, but we end up competing over a girl—Jessica Simpson. We’re both trying to become employee of the month because she only dates employees of the month.

When you’re shooting movies with guys like Dane Cook or Will Arnett—who you just did Let’s Go To Prison with—does it ever turn into an unspoken competition, like you’re trying to secretly out-joke each other?
No, I think a more accurate thing to say is that it’s hard not to value Will’s laugh more than other people’s; he’s the funniest person working in my opinion. There’s more pleasure in making someone who I think is hilarious laugh than there is, you know, my mailman.

So you’re an elitist.
Right. [Laughs.] But it’s nice when you get to a level where you’re surrounded by other working actors and everyone’s already kind of carved out their own niche in a way—so there’s not a lot of competition, in my mind. When I was taking classes and performing with the Groundlings, there was a lot of competition because I don’t think anyone had etched out their exact comedic persona yet. But Will does a very distinct, clear thing, you know? He’s a great asshole. And I’m a great blue-collar comedian, so he and I are never really trying to pull off the same routine within a movie.

You have a degree in anthropology from UCLA. How lame is Intelligent Design?
[Laughs.] I can’t believe people can talk along those lines with a straight face. Here’s one of the big arguments I get in with people all the time: You don’t get to pick and choose which elements of science you believe in. You don’t get to take the ones that make your life easier and better but not the ones that make it more challenging.

Have you ever considered a pet monkey?
When I got into anthropology, I went specifically because I was interested in primatology. I am enthralled with primates and, yes, I selfishly wanted a backyard full of chimpanzees. But I learned that they make horrible pets because they have the intelligence and curiosity of a five-year old—which means they need to be entertained as much as a five-year-old—yet they’re five times as strong as a human. It’s like having a super-Down’s kid. ALT

[SIDEBAR]

DAX SHEPARD
AGE
: 31
HQ: Los Angeles, CA
RÉSUMÉ: Punk’d, as Ashton Kutcher’s right-hand con-man; Without A Paddle, as Tom Marshall, canoeing enthusiast; Zathura: A Space Adventure, as an astronaut trapped in a board game; this months’ Idiocracy, as Frito, Luke Wilson’s dim-witted attorney; Employee Of The Month, as Dane Cook’s rival Costco worker; Let’s Go To Prison, as a career criminal sharing a jail cell with a moneyed asshole (Will Arnett).
IDIOT SAVANT: “Well, the premise [of Idiocracy] that Luke Wilson wakes up 500 years in the future, where only the idiots have reproduced, so everyone in America is pretty much dumb. He gets into legal trouble immediately, and he gets assigned a public defender. I’m his lawyer and his friend. I’m arguably the dumbest person in the future, and I’m his legal representative.”
FAMILY TIES:
Shepard’s cousin is Film School bassist Justin LaBo (also formerly of Current and Ottawa). “They need to record a new album, because I’ve seen them perform about 300 times now,” says Shepard, laughing. “Justin also plays techno in a band called Technicolor—which is really just him—and that’s actually my favorite stuff of his.” ALT



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