Alternate-Universe Hit Singles
Posted by Rob Ortenzi on 26-Aug-08 @ 02:17 PM|
Selected by Scott Heisel.
One of the more common phrases thrown around by rock critics is, "This song would be a hit single in an alternate universe." It's said to indicate a song's inherent catchiness and poppiness no matter what genre it's in and is essentially a songwriting award for the band in question. But what if there were an alternate universe, one that let pathetic radio-rock fodder like Finger Eleven, Seether and Three Days Grace wallow in obscurity and elevated worthy bands to the upper elechon of mainstream adoration? Maybe we've just been watching too much Lost lately (Desmond Hume's our constant, too!), but we like to think that one morning, we'll wake up and everything will be the same-except bad music will be vanquished from the airwaves. |
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JAWBOX “Savory” (From For Your Own Special Sweetheart) (ATLANTIC,1994)  There’s really no better song to start this list than with the mother of all college-rock radio station staples, even 14 years after its release. “Savory” was mainstream America’s first exposure to this groundbreaking Washington, D.C, post-punk quartet, and it is easily in the top tier of Jawbox songs. The thick, crunchy verses open into a surprisingly jangly chorus where J. Robbins sings cryptically about washing ones’ hands, and the whole thing’s made perfect by Kim Coletta’s absolutely essential bass slides. Rarely does a radio single carry so much influence (even Deftones later covered it).
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HUM “Stars” (From You’d Prefer An Astronaut) (RCA,1995)  If anyone ever puts a gun to your head and threatens to pop you off unless you can name the best use of drop D tuning in the history of rock music, just tell them it’s “Stars” by Hum-odds are, you will live to see another day. This five-minute space-rock jam starts off quiet, but once that stompbox is activated at the 43-second mark, it’s like the Cloverfield monster comes to life. The riffing is magnificent, the drumming appropriately gargantuan and somehow the pop element isn’t obscured. Yes, it’s the current soundtrack to those annoying Cadillac ads, but the song still rules.
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THE GET UP KIDS “Don’t Hate Me” (From Four Minute Mile) (DOGHOUSE,1997)  The second wave of emo was only taking baby steps when Lawrence, Kansas’ favorite sons upped the ante huge with the genre’s first true hit (ask your older sibling to see his mixtape playlist notebook from back in the day-this song is sure to be in there more than once). Three minutes of indie-raucousness mixed with new wave keyboards landed the Kids in a major-label bidding war, with many suitors wanting the band to re-record the song (one of many reasons they signed with Vagrant instead). While we applaud their morals, one has to wonder: Had this gotten on the air in ‘97, could’ve we avoided rap-rock altogether?
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BRAID “A Dozen Roses” (From Frame & Canvas) (POLYVINYL,1998)  With “A Dozen Roses,” Braid were just starting to develop the more melodic side of their sound without sacrificing their math-rock tendencies (feel those off-beat ride-bell hits from Damon Atkinson!). It was here Bob Nanna first realized he could write a midtempo rock song without having to shout or load it with furious dueling guitars. It’s a shame Braid broke up before getting to record a follow-up to this landmark emo album because with a few more songs like this, they could’ve been the new voice of the Alternative Nation.
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REFUSED “New Noise” (From The Shape Of Punk To Come) (BURNING HEART,1998)  Okay, sure, there are an abundance of nu-metal bands with a misguided appreciation for this progressive hardcore milestone (head to YouTube and type in “Crazy Town New Noise,” but have a barf bag nearby). And yeah, this song’s been bastardized by plenty of television networks looking for jock jams to bumper their sports programming. Hell, “New Noise” was even in Friday Night Lights. But with a song this instantly legendary (and an unforgettable video clip backing it up), we could hear it in the freaking supermarket and we wouldn’t mind.
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THE PROMISE RING “Emergency! Emergency!” (From Very Emergency) (JADE TREE,1999)  Out of all the songs on this list, none is more unabashedly, unapologetically happy than “Emergency! Emergency!,” the only single from the Promise Ring’s third full-length. TPR’s buzz had been steadily building for the few years prior (anyone remember their “Hot New Band” piece in Teen People?), and pretty much everyone expected this album to break the boys into the mainstream. Needless to say, it didn’t happen (AP was too stuck in nü-metal hell to give them the cover they so richly deserved)-if only MP3 blogs were around a decade ago...
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BOY SETS FIRE “Rookie” (From After The Eulogy) (VICTORY,2000)  Delaware emocore quintet Boy Sets Fire, while being plenty heavy and boundary-pushing both musically and lyrically, always retained a knack for a good hook (hell, their very first song, “Vehicle,” could’ve torn up Headbanger’s Ball in 1997 had there been a video for it). So when the band made the jump from medium-sized Louisville, Kentucky, label Initial to the hardcore big leagues of Victory in 2000, they brought their A game with “Rookie,” a driving rocker that was the band’s aural calling card for the next seven years. While Boy Sets Fire were influential, this song will definitely outlive this band.
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NONE MORE BLACK “Oh, There’s Legwork” (From Loud About Loathing EP) (SABOT,2004)  Oh, Jason Shevchuk, man of a thousand bad breaks. First, Kid Dynamite explodes (pardon the pun) right as the hardcore community were finally waking up to them. Then his following band, None More Black, were too musically unorthodox for Fat Wreck Chords and fell on the deaf ears of the label’s built-in fanbase. Then he writes his best song ever and releases it on an EP through a small label out of Florida with virtually zero distribution. The odds of this country-tinged pop-punk sing-along getting noticed were slim and none, but goddamn, does it deserve to be heard by millions.
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THURSDAY “Running From The Rain” (From A City By The Light Divided) (ISLAND,2008)  The worst thing about how badly Island Records botched the marketing of A City By The Light Divided is they had one of the most beautiful ballads put to tape by any rock artist in years and didn’t even give it the proper single treatment. The Sigur Rós-esque soundscape in “Running From The Rain” matched with Geoff Rickly’s strong vocal performance (one of the best of his career) meant this song was one Chris Lord-Alge radio mix away from tearing up the airwaves. Instead, most people recognize this song from its placement in a Saturn commercial. Way to go, Island.
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SAOSIN “You’re Not Alone” (From Saosin) (CAPITOL,2006)  Out of all the songs listed, “You’re Not Alone” is the one that seems like the biggest injustice simply because Saosin had the major label push, the internet buzz and the stamp of approval from critics. Yet the video for this absolutely gorgeous emo power ballad featured the band playing in slow motion inside what looked like a concentration camp, completely missing the easily digestible visuals in Cove Reber’s lyrics, and radio never really got behind the track, either. It just goes to show you can write the best song of your career and have all the proper wheels in motion, and sometimes it still doesn’t happen.
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